Many people in my life would tell me I don’t owe you anything. I don’t even owe you this explanation as to why my life changed for the better, but I guess I’m just a little more courteous than you ever were. I came to terms with the fact that I owe you nothing in return for the nothing you gave me a long time ago, but for some reason these same two words keep popping up in my head every time I think of you, or God forbid I even say it…of “us.” So what could I possibly owe you? What could possibly come to my mind in two words that you want to hear? As absurd as this may sound, I owe you a simple “Thank you.”
Thank you for:
1. Allowing me to find my self-worth somewhere beneath all of your ridiculousness. Had I never met you, I would never know I was worth more than…the way you treated me. I’ll just leave it at that. 😉 It’s better that way.
2. Allowing me to better myself after I left you in my rear view. Had I never met you, I wouldn’t have motivation to feel better, look better, and be an all-around better person.
3. Allowing me to find God with a much stronger relationship than I had with him before you walked into my life. Had I never met you, I wouldn’t have turned to him with such a loss for words when I knew it was all over for good. I wouldn’t have counted on him day in and day out for strength to be that better person I was just talking about.
4. Allowing me to find myself in this mess of a world. Had I never met you, I would’ve never went on a journey of self-discovery after I realized I lost myself chasing you. I haven’t even found all of myself, but I can tell you I love this new girl I have found so much more.
5. Allowing me to achieve a more mature lifestyle. Had I never met you, I would’ve never known that immaturity is my least favorite human characteristic. But we all go through it, right? I guess some of us never grow out of it. By “some of us,” I actually mean you.
I’ve heard many people say, “When a heart breaks, it doesn’t break even.” I’ll just go ahead and rub it in your face that I got the better half of this deal. It may have been a deal I didn’t want to make, but God was looking out for my best interest. It would’ve been painful for me to say this months ago, but now it rolls off my tongue with ease; my best interest was never you. But I thank God, and of course you because I can’t forget that, for everything.
And one more thing before you go… If you ever find your way back, I also owe you a beer for my record year. 😉